I waited until today to bring up a topic that is still very close to my heart. Today would have been my youngest brothers 33rd birthday. You see it would have been but we lost Jeff back in 2005. Now, I know that loss has visited MANY of your families as well and not to many of us will escape dealing with this situation at some point in our lives.

 

   The saying goes something like – “Life is Terminal?”. Well, it is and I’m sure we all realize this at some level in our consciousness. What I want to propose here today is that we all should take a good hard look at how this situation could interject itself into our lives at the worst possible time. Whether this is the crisis or only a part of a much larger problem, we will have to deal with it.

 

   In my personal situation, I lost a brother at far to young of an age, 28 years old. Now this wasn’t due to a medical issue or anything that we can easily get our mind around, like say, losing a grandparent. I say this but at the same time it didn’t come as a complete surprise. Jeff was living a high risk lifestyle. He was dealing with multiple issues from drug abuse to mental illness. We can get into the chicken or the egg theory but it wouldn’t be productive as it really has zero bearing on the fact that I lost my brother! Even the fact that I lost my brother has little bearing on the overall subject matter today.

 

   What does matter is that life happens and we are going to have to deal with it. I’m here to tell you that its easier said than done! Now, I’m not trying to be dramatic but Jeffs death was hard on me.  He was 5 years younger than me and I wouldn’t honestly say we were particularly close, especially in the last few years. I was actually kind of pissed off at him for putting my folks through an unreasonable amount of stress. However, I would rather have him and his problems than not have him at all! I know that my parents would say the same thing and have…

 

   At the time Jeff died, life was going along very well for my family. Business was booming and we were under alot of pressure but in a good way. My point is that for all intents and purposes, my life was normal. In a matter of days life had gone from normal to over stressed, actually overnight is more accurate. I didn’t even fully realize that this stress was happening, except in hindsight.

 

   I was feeling the stress of losing a brother, thats bad enough but I’m sure nothing compared to losing a spouse or even your own child. I had the luxury of going about my business as usual and grieving at the same time. What if this wasn’t the case? Imagine now that you have lost your spouse in the events surrounding a weather event like hurricane Katrina. Maybe your home as well and then add in the need to care for your children too.

 

   What are you going to do if you are presented with this situation? I’m not bringing this topic up today with the idea that I can leave you with a happy ending. A short well thought out list of items to get or do and then everything will be fine if this were to ever happen. I am only bringing this up because I had been thinking back on the 6 months to a year long period after we lost Jeff. With his birthday coming up I decided to wait until today to talk about it.

 

   As preppers we plan for emergencies that we believe could happen. Some of them are even quite remote possibilities. I do however believe that few of us have given much thought to the tragedy that will visit us all at some time in the future. Its easy to ignore the facts surrounding our own mortality, that is until we’re confronted with it. I can just about guarantee that it will happen at an unpleasant time and I for one don’t relish the idea of being blindsided again with something so close to home.

 

  So, what can we do to prepare even for something like this. Well, it isn’t easy to even know where to start. How about life insurance, got yours? Mrs Prepper and I each have a term life insurance policy to fill the gap financially in the event that one of us gets to go home prematurely. What else, is your will and estate plans in place? I know that this is one of the hardest things to do, at least it was for me. I love to plan the logistics for most any situation but not mine or my wife’s death… Nope to difficult to contemplate… Well it has to be done or you risk leaving your loved ones to finish your job or clean up your mess,which ever is more accurate in your particular situation.

 

   I suggest you discuss this with your spouse if you have one. It was an eye opener for me to see all the individual items that had to be thought through. It is possible, difficult but still possible. Start with the big stuff like what you want to have happen to your children and work all the way down the list until you get to decide who’s going to inherit that enormous gun collection.

 

   Something that you may never have even considered or maybe just never put down on paper… What do you want done with your remains. There are options you know. Cremation or burial? Pine or oak, just trying to be light hearted on that last remark but you get the idea. Even the location of where you want to be laid to rest, in either fashion. All things to discuss now or just put in writing for your loved ones, they will need to know. There can be an incredible cost associated with this process. I for one had and still do have for the most part, an I don’t really care what you do with me attitude. Toss me off the side of an old logging road for all I could care. However, your family won’t do that, at least mine won’t – I don’t think?? Anyway, work through some of the questions so you’ll have a response for when the paperwork is in front of you. We personally used our attorney to help us with the paperwork but there are more economical ways to get it done. I have heard nothing but praise for legalzoom.com and wouldn’t hesitate to use them if I had to do it over again. Check around, someone you know will have been through the process before and may have additional recommendations on a source of assistance.

 

   These are just the things that come to my mind right now but there are certainly others. I don’t think that we need to make this any heavier than it has to be but it is the disaster that will happen eventually. It would be even more unfortunate if it were to happen in combination with something else. I think that you will all agree with me that a little thought today could be immensely helpful tomorrow.

 

   Let me use my brothers birthday for something positive as it always was up until a few years ago. Let me encourage you to think about the inevitable and stop procrastinating. Take care of the things that have to be done now and reap the rewards of your forethought in relieving yourself of future stress. Things are going to happen in life and we should be prepared even for the uncomfortable and most troubling among them – Death, our own or those we love.

 

   As a Christian myself and knowing that my brother had a personal relationship with Christ, I am assured that I will see Jeff again. However, the stress that comes along with this particular situation can’t be avoided but maybe minimized if we have made any and all appropriate plans before the fateful day arrives.

 

 

Prepper